It started with a sound that struck the chords of my heartstrings, the dusty tattered ones that resonated well with the alluring echoes of every beat within the chamber walls. It wasn’t a skip or a long awkward pause, it was the well of tears and the aching of scars that bound my heart like a protective shell. Perhaps these scars with sound realizedthat moment is near and it would shed themselves enough for love to be once again felt. But whoa the aching that merely days later, still reminds that even the funny ones and touching moments seem exaggerated in their kind, so again I unwind and now rewind the ravelling pieces. Oh God where does it end and I begin?

It seems but a new part of myself that makes it harder to jump, harder to trust, and to feel anything too much. Ive lived so long in that place, the hearts dwelling but after the last two or four or seven( years or attempts), I don’t know if it is even possible to happen to me again. For how can it, if I simply do not allow such measures to realize, that which I secretly long for. 

I guess with these words written it isn’t such a secret any longer. Even from myself.

I guess with these words written, and with you, the reader, my witness, I acknowledge the direction in which I want to go and it is in my hopes that from this place, I will figure out just how to do so. 

For now, all I know is, 

When my heart cannot deny your song, 

And in reminder aches, 

Tells me that I yearn to learn, 

Just how to love once again.